Chinese Take Away Shop

First they offer shiitake mushrooms,

I replied with insect infested brooms

Then they gave me Himalayan bear bile,

I was offended, I could not smile

Then asked if I wanted fired dogs,

I complained they taste like frogs

When told them that I am not a good eater,

They tried to sell me puppets for theatre

Then they gave me wrong colour pants,

I replied with South American bullet ants

First they offered me nylon shorts,

I suggested they dump them at Chinese ports

Then they tried grandfather clocks,

And Lego mega blocks

I complained about blisters from their rubber boots,

They told me to walk on better track routes

They offered me an electronic game,

I have a computer, it looks the same

They offered me a remote controlled light,

I have good eyes to see at night

Then they sold me synthetic soft toys,

I replied with environmental non-profit convoys

Then they gave me ripped zipper bag,

I replied with an aged, Iranian rag

Then they showed me ivory chess,

I could not afford and felt lost of stress

Then they showed me a power music HiFi,

I wanted quiet life and refused to buy

Then they gave me fugu fish toxin,

I swore with rage in Mandarin

They tried to sell a bluefin tuna from the North,

I could not pay for what it was worth

Then they tried a bluefin tuna from the South,

I could not stand the taste in my mouth

Then they ask about dumpling soup,

Our talking was stuck in a endless loop

They they tried a spoiled crab,

3I tried to escape, I called the cab

Then they offered me a roasted duck,

I complained that looks like burned coal,

I told them to call the fire truck,

They became angry and lost control

They shouted aloud,

They tried to yell,

I attached to my ears tight rubber plugs

They gathered big crowd,

They were desperate to sell,

Their steel metal mugs,

They thought I was blind,

I refused to change my mind

Then they gave me infected Corona bats,

I replied with black plague rats

They send me a letter,

Promoting their shark fin in a batter

Inside the letter was a golden gift wrap,

I opened, and saw, a cruel finger trap

I began to threaten them with a box jellyfish,

They said they will kill me, it was their wish

My months later I paid for a bag of their wheat,

Then I received a big box in the mail,

I open the box and ate the meat,

Of the rare Antarctic humpback, whale

I was still wearing their warm coat,

I might have paid with a cheque,

For their expensive sheep’s fleece,

I forgot the number I wrote,

I need to return, and pay them back

I decided to study Cantonese

I learned to pronounce Chinese words,

And sang songs with Chinese guitar chords

I was afraid to admit that I was wrong,

Their shouting disturbed me like Chinese gong

I came back to them after years away,

Now I can speak and understand what they say

Their shop was still there in an old part of town,

I came back because I was never a clown

Then they offered rice with eggs and soy sauce,

I could not decide, I stopped with a pause

The weather turns nasty, I hear sounds of rain,

Their mood changes and they start to complain

“You never paid for our Chinese pot”,

“I do not remember, I forgot”

I was possessed by their magic spells,

After eating their rare oyster shells

I was a runner and lost all my races,

Because their running shoes did not have any laces